is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
