You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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