It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
