If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
