i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You ruined the universe
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
