New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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