For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
