So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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