i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
