Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
