do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
