Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do herpes really smell.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
