I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
