the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize