I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
