I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
