I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
pray to the hookup gods
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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