11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
