...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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