Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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