everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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