She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
