we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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