I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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