Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
