i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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