Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
