omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
