I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
