Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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