i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sext me about skeletons
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
