Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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