i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
