I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I did not marry a roomba.
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