I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Mom said you looked used
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
