If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
