I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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