i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize