I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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