That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
