No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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