White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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