Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt