You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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