oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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