Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
