so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
