I must be too annoying 4 u.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
