last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
