I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
