I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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