He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
