well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
