when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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