last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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