This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
