he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
