Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  we're not divorced.

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  (214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (3355)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

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  (312): I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/ityh
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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  (+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir
  Replies (39) Good night (4343) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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  (360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke
  Replies (18) Good night (5494) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?

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  (512): I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing? http://tfl.nu/nzdd
  Replies (7) Good night (8734) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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  (919): Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval http://tfl.nu/opwb
  Replies (7) Good night (7201) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we

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  (845): it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we http://tfl.nu/wm4n
  Replies (11) Good night (3979) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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  (228): I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me. http://tfl.nu/ndpv
  Replies (6) Good night (2499) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2374) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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  (615): No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night http://tfl.nu/p85n
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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  (609): i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid http://tfl.nu/4631
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!

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  (406): That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face! http://tfl.nu/7j4j
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore

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  (505): Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore http://tfl.nu/mshh
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.

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  (815): Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on. http://tfl.nu/1k0i
  Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  This is why you're my favorite TA

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  (908): would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours (615): This is why you're my favorite TA http://tfl.nu/ulv5
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (417)

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