i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
