Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.