Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"

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  (678): I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute" http://tfl.nu/6gqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1338) Bad night (3062) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2465) Bad night (468)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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  (301): The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/e9u8
  Replies (28) Good night (3693) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4

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  (434): She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4 http://tfl.nu/9o7z
  Replies (45) Good night (2008) Bad night (6670) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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  (920): He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me. http://tfl.nu/y4m9
  Replies (14) Good night (2028) Bad night (1317) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3326) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle

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  (919): my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle http://tfl.nu/ki3d
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (2533) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

  (818): View more from California

  No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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  (310): Can we just ponder our lives for a second. (818): No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles. http://tfl.nu/vtnc
  Replies (7) Good night (2017) Bad night (703)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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  (910): He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that. http://tfl.nu/o050
  Replies (3) Good night (2673) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.

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  (863): I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life. http://tfl.nu/jtja
  Replies (8) Good night (2501) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.

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  (404): I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life. http://tfl.nu/rfqb
  Replies (3) Good night (1173) Bad night (483)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass

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  (615): Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic. (615): And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass http://tfl.nu/370d
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (214)
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  (805): View more from California

  the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick

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  (805): the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick http://tfl.nu/e696
  Replies (6) Good night (601) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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  (662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (120) Order T-Shirt

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