Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
