Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  it was like eating out sand paper

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  (626): it was like eating out sand paper http://tfl.nu/u8qd
  Replies (32) Good night (531) Bad night (7744)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1700) Bad night (5404)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
  Replies (37) Good night (8031) Bad night (817)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.

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  (508): I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave. http://tfl.nu/zhay
  Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (3724)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1087) Bad night (3892)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (3980) Bad night (1190)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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  (406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez
  Replies (21) Good night (5356) Bad night (1089)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked

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  (574): all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked http://tfl.nu/pht3
  Replies (8) Good night (2488) Bad night (581)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1173) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day

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  (404): I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day http://tfl.nu/nvho
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (760)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You say this every welcome week, bro.

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  (513): Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere (480): You say this every welcome week, bro. http://tfl.nu/zrmk
  Replies (3) Good night (1346) Bad night (436)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.

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  (402): It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off. http://tfl.nu/33ez
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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  (931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173
  Replies (21) Good night (516) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.

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  (410): Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night. http://tfl.nu/tzdh
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (930)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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  (312): I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in http://tfl.nu/almk
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (227)

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