The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize