Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
do nipples grow back?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
