you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
