oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
