My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
