I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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